This is where I'll
place my thoughts on various topics, from peak oil through philosophy
to why I happen to like moonflowers. Whatever strikes my fancy to
contemplate.
Most
recently I have worked up a bit of documentation for some of my Roman
kit, which can be seen here. The
documentation is here: Roman
Marching Kit.
Dreams
are strange things on the whole. They become
somewhat stranger still when they *always* include color, hearing,
feeling, taste and so on. Mix in a vividness and reality so complete
that upon waking they seem more memory than dream and it is difficult
to separate them for a time....sometimes they can't be entirely
separated with certainty. Oddly, none of them have anything to do with
my accident as a subject. They are disturbing for these qualities
alone, though some of them are disturbing for the content as well. They
seem so very real... I suppose that since I was severely concussed they
could be explained through such trauma. But that doesn't 'feel' right
as an explanation. And I cannot explain either the dreams or how I feel
about them. Whoever may have wished me an interesting life certainly
got that wish! LOL
Siani’s
Saga
This is a series of dreams I had over the course of a
week. As you will see, they are unusually consistent and organized. I
can say
that it has given me much to think on. Below is the dream in its
entirety,
combined into a complete narrative with little editing of any
consequence.
I'm in a longship, going upriver and I'm seeking
something though I don't know what it is. I'll know it if and when I
find it.
Whatever it is seems to always lie around the next bend of just over
that range
of hills ahead. Interestingly, the shields lining the rail are
alternating
black and white in color, with snarling bear heads painted on them,
sometimes
with brass or painted designs, sometimes not. Always the main aspect is
black
and white. On the yard of the sail sits a row of cats. Yep, cats. They
are
large, the color of smoke, and very thickly furred as opposed to fuzzy.
They
rather remind me of those old clocks with the moving tails and eyes. In
this
case, the tails are moving but not synchronized and the eyes always
remain
fixed on me. It's an uncanny feeling of being watched in a way not like
the
usual feeling. No one else seems to see them, or if they do, they don't
acknowledge them. Perched atop the masthead is a hawk or falcon, I am
uncertain
which. It too watches me fixedly. We pass two people on the way; a
statuesque
blond over 6' tall (Yahoo!), and some old hermit-codger with a battered
black
hat and a staff. Both watch intently as we pass but say nothing. I
cannot see
the man's face, but I know he is watching and the woman's face is
beautiful but
expressionless as she watches, though the look is very intense.
The shields lining the gunwales still
alternate white and
black with snarling bear heads painted on them. Along the yardarm still
sit the
row of large, very heavily furred cats, watching me fixedly. On the
masthead is
still the falcon or hawk, I am uncertain which. It is also staring at
me
fixedly. There is a full crew, but for the most part they are faceless
saving
only some family and friends. I cannot see the river, but I know we are
on it,
despite seeing only land all around.
The land was at first pretty
crowded, people going about doing things; a lot of activity. There were
not
many vehicles on the roads as we were 'sailing' up a highway. This is
where I
saw the crash site. Several cars, abandoned mostly, and a few others
crunched
from impacts littered the road. A large fuel tanker was on its side
leaking
gasoline. Many people were about it with milk jugs, cans, and various
other
things trying to catch the leaking fuel. There were no fights, but a
lot of
intense, almost frantic, efforts to get some and go. I don't know why
they were
so intent on leaving.
A small time later the land is
emptier; there are few people to be seen and those tend to melt away
when
noticed. A lone mule-drawn cart moves along the roadway that is empty
of
anything else. The scene switches and a group of people on motorcycles
and
pieced together vehicles are staring at the same mule-drawn cart. One
of them
is cursing heavily. The cart appears to be moving over the top of the
water;
there's a lot of water now, everywhere. Here and there can be seen
ruined
pieces of buildings, some of them still seeming whole though flooded.
The road
runs right into the water and is apparently not far beneath it. The
cart is
floating as the mule walks ahead of it. The people with the vehicles
are angry
at not being able to catch the cart for some reason.
I see myself, working in my
forge. I am armed and armored for war. Completely gray now though
unbent. I am
making axes and I get the notion I have been for some time. I note that
my
forge is portable now; I can load it up and move it at need though I
don't know
why I'd do this.
Aboard the longship moving along a river I cannot
see. We
have passed both flame scarred ruins and tidy villages, with no
apparent
pattern to why one is ruined and another is not. No sign of vehicles
this time,
and I noted in my sleep, no aircraft though I could swear I saw a
balloon in
the distance. The cats and hawk are still there, though they disappear
at some
point; I don't notice their leaving, just that they are gone.
This time I actually get out
of the ship; it is so odd because I feel the water, hear the splash and
slosh,
but it all looks like dry ground. I move 'ashore' and in fact feel
myself walk
onto dry land. Looking back I see the ship, but it has a
semi-transparent
appearance. The grass is very long and the going is rough; bits of rock
or
masonry jut up here and there making footing difficult. I come to one
of the
ruined places; the signs of fire are very evident. It seems deserted,
at least
of people; bison move through what once were roads and birds are
everywhere. I
see the old man lounging about on cracked steps, again I cannot see his
face
but I know he is observing me. Next to him is a heavily muscled young
man in
simple clothing; he's leaning against the wall and watching me as I
look about.
I think I can sometimes sort of see through them, though if I look at
them
directly they are or seem to be solid enough. Oddly, anytime I think of
speaking to them my attention wanders and I don't.
There is battle this time; I
hear it plainly. Screaming, cursing, and cracking of sticks, clanging
of metal
and one or two blasts. Topping a small rise I can see it; a swirling
and
exceptionally savage melee. The combatants are all of similar
appearance and no
quarter appears to be given by either side. I cannot discern what the
fight is
about and I go no closer. Turning to look at the 'river', or where I
know the river
to be, I do not see the ship. This gives me a nasty start and I make my
way to
where it should be. As I approach I can again make it out and I
suddenly splash
into the water I cannot see. The woman is standing not far off; I do
not recall
her being there when I came towards the river. She speaks in a very
clear
contralto "It would be unwise to wander too far from your way."
Suddenly she isn't there anymore.
I
board ship again and we set
off, again going upriver, still searching for something. I think now it
is a
place rather than a thing.
In the ship again,
holding the tiller as we forged
upriver. We could see the river now and the current we were going
against was
stronger than it had been. After a time one of the lads at the stem
said the
river split; we had either come on the junction of two rivers or a
large island
split the river, it was difficult to see which. The flow from either
side was
strong and we managed to get to the tip of the land spit and settle
into the
eddy there. On shore stood the two men and the woman, and with her was
another
woman; this one very pale, with black hair lit with blue highlights.
She was
leaning on her spear and wore tunic and trousers of crimson and black.
At her
belt were a sword and a bronze sickle along with several pouches. Her
eyes were
dark and intense.
I went ashore for the second
time and looked at them, the men to my left, the women to the right.
None of
them made a move. I thought to ask who they were but for some reason
lost
interest in the idea as I regarded the land and the waters on either
side.
Considering the rivers the blond woman said "You must choose your way.
Consider carefully." Well that helped a lot, in making me nervous. I
still
didn't know what I was looking for or where I was going so I hadn't
much of an
idea how to weigh the choice. They were watching me intently as I
dithered.
Finally I got a little irritated and made my choice. I told them I
would go
over land and take neither river. They said nothing, though the young
man
nodded to me slightly and his eyes flashed.
I told the crew to wait for me;
I would go further and see if in fact this were an island or a point
between
two rivers. For whatever reason, I armed myself for battle and set off.
Thickly
wooded this part was, and the going was not easy. For what seemed a
long time I
fought my way through the trees and brush, not even finding a game path
to use.
Eventually I broke out into less densely wooded land that sloped upward
and
that is the way I took. I saw much bird life; an owl resting in a tree,
a hawk
soaring above, many of the smaller birds, but no animals.
After leaving the
heavily wooded area and entering the
sparsely wooded upslope I see a group of warriors. They spot me and
turn
towards me, heading directly for me. I need to go onward, but they are
in the
way and there doesn't appear to be an easy way to get around them. I
ready
myself for battle and try edging to my right, thinking perhaps to turn
around
that flank and make a dash up the hill. This doesn't work; there are
more than
I thought - a lot more. I think this is odd but before I can consider
it
further elements of my crew are on either side of me. This is shaping
up to be
a rather ugly fight which I do not want and certainly don't need.
The oncoming warriors seem
normal
in respects save one; they have nothing in their eyes. That is, no
emotion, no
life, nothing; just a flat gaze. The battle is joined and for a time
the
bloodlust sings in me and the work is as gruesome as ever. People on
both sides
drop, there is screaming, grunting, clashing and crying. At one point I
have no
opponent and I look over the field and I am struck by the fact...
That I have seen this before,
exactly
this scene, in earlier dreams of the past. I know what will happen, how
it will
end, and I do not want this. The death of my people and the death of
those we
fight fill me with sudden disgust and the bloodsong fades as something
inside
breaks. I sound the recall on my horn and my people disengage and go
back into
the trees. I remain where I am as the enemy converges on me and I
notice with a
start that not all are warriors; in fact, most are not. Most are
ordinary
people and for the first time I notice a sort of pleading look in their
eyes.
With a great sigh I drop my
weapons and stand, awaiting the end of it all, but nothing happens.
They gaze
at me for a moment and then fade to smoke and disappear on the winds.
The dead vanish
too, from both sides. Frowning, I retrieve my gear and set off up
slope. I am
called to halt from behind and turning I see the blond, the raven
haired woman,
and one of my crew; a redheaded warrior of great skill though I know
not her
name.
The Morrigan, for I know her
now, nods to Freya then transforms and flies away. Freya speaks to the
redheaded warrior who approaches me and tells me that warriors should
be
rewarded by those they serve, and punished for lack of faith. I am
startled
when she holds forth a necklace of amber and bears teeth. She tells me
to go
onward now, for I have not reached the journey's end."
Topping the hill I looked
down
the back side and the trees gave out a short way down, the small bowl
or valley
being grassy and open. Midway across there was a house of some sort and
I made
my way towards it. I find myself on a road, rutted with use but dry and
dusty.
As I come to the house; it's a log structure with outbuildings, I hear
the
sound of a hammer striking metal. Rounding the back corner of the house
I come
to a smithy, but what a smithy! Everything is scaled up, or I've
shrunk. A huge
man is hammering on a blade; he is stripped to the waist and bulges
with hard
muscle. His beard and hair are deep black and he is running with sweat
from
heat and exertion. A strange smell of flowers, almost spicy, floats
faintly
around the place.
Pausing in his hammering he
returns blade to fire and looks at me "Little Warrior, greetings. What
would you?" I'm rather stunned at all of this and can't find anything
much
to say. He repeats "What would you?" Gazing at him I regain my
courage saying I would learn what he would teach me, meaning smithwork
of
course. Some of the things I glimpse in his shop are wondrous works! He
asks me
if I have learned to mend weapons as of yet and I indicate I have to a
limited
degree. He indicates a knife and tells me to mend it. I work hard at
this, not
wanting to seem totally lacking in skills, and yet I cannot fully mend
the
knife; it is beyond my skill. When I am too tired to continue he looks
at the
knife and tells me it is not half bad all things considered, but that
not all
things that are damaged can be mended though the effort is not always
misspent.
I tell him I would that mending myself were as easy as mending blades
and he
looks at me hard saying that I have done well thus far and my work is
good, but
to remember that like tools, mending oneself or the things one has done
is not
always possible.
He tells me to follow the
road;
that I will find something of worth ahead. So I leave, following the
road up
the other side of the valley and into the forest on that side. Night
has fallen
as I reach this place and there is no moon, though there is starlight
aplenty.
I find a small hut with lamplight gleaming around the entry. Entering
this hut
there is a skinny old man. I think it's a man anyway. He motions me
sharply to
sit and divests me of gear, then drapes a smelly and badly tanned hide
over my
head and tells me to sleep. Rich herb smells permeate this place and I
drowse
off. A strange kaleidoscope of images and sensations follows until I
awaken...
Whereupon I find myself in a
cave covered with bracken and old leaves. Getting up I look outside and
it is
bright daylight; the valley/bowl lies below with no sign of the house.
I had
not intended to be here a day and a night so I retrace my steps, making
my way
back to the spit of land. When I arrive I realize two things; this bit
of land
is the point between two rivers, and the longship is not there. The men
and
women are present though, and the woman with the black hair tells me I
was gone
overlong and they could not stay. The blond woman tells me a full moon
cycle
has passed since I left and they gave me up for lost. I sit on the
strand, fear
overcoming me for a time. Looking at the men and women I feel angry,
but that
passes and I laugh, feeling an ass. The blond woman asks me if I would
rejoin
my crew and I tell her I would; she tells me that perhaps I do not
desire it
enough. Thinking on this I am...
At
the tiller and we are going
downriver. The blond woman, whom I know now, is sitting nearby
regarding me.
She points towards me and I feel a touch between and just above my
eyes.
"You have been taught much. Do not forget." She's gone then and we're
going downriver.<>
So last night we pull into shore at the behest of
the
redheaded lass who's been part of my crew. I have no idea who she is,
but she
rows well and fights well, which will do just fine. Disembarking we
ascend the
bank and look out at the lands around; they are not empty, but neither
do I see
much in the way of activity. Of ruins there are plenty, and smaller
hamlets
seem to exist amongst them here and there. These pockets of
organization/cooperation seem to be unpopular though; or rather very
popular.
Each one is progressively reduced by crowds of people from outside the
place.
Others attempting to set them up are set upon before they get far. It's
sad and
strange at the same time. I see one man standing on a ruined wall
gazing up at
the stars (which I can see perfectly well despite it being daylight)
with a
look of loss and longing on his face. Another standing beside him pats
him on
the shoulder and says 'Someday, never fear." The man shakes his head
and
replies in a broken voice "Never now, we lost the only chance we
had."
Looking back to the river I
see the ship there, the water clear and clean looking, then looking at
the sky
and its stars I look at the lass next to me and ask "Who are you?"
She smiles and laughs softly, and tells me she's a messenger and a
giver of
gifts. Then she's gone. A raven calls from a tree and takes flight, a
single
flight feather drifting to land at my feet and soft voice whispers to
me
"This journey is done. Let no fear or the doubts of others make you
heedless of all you have learned and seen."
<>
Make of it what you will, as you will. It was a very
intense and exhausting experience. I often woke more tired than I went
to bed.
Siani
"The world of spirit contains all
possibilities. The world of form
contains those possibilities that have been made manifest."
That's a fairly profound thought, to
my mind. It effectively states that the worlds of Spirit and Form are
inseparable and intertwined. I find it rather comforting to meditate
on.
Thomas Jefferson on Banks:
"I believe that banking institutions are more
dangerous to
our liberties than standing armies. If the
American people
ever allow private banks to control the issue of
their
currency, first by inflation, then by deflation,
the banks and
corporations that will grow up around [the
banks] will
deprive the people of all property until their
children wake up
homeless on the continent their fathers
conquered. The
issuing power should be taken from the banks and
restored
to the people, to whom it properly belongs."
--Letter to the Secretary
of the Treasury Albert Gallatin (1802)
Bears a bit of thinking about, I should say.